Getting Sober & Coaching Basketball.
There is no playbook for life. In March of 2013, I accepted an Assistant Basketball Coaching position at West Catholic Prep in Philadelphia, PA under Coach Jazz Williams. I was fortunate enough to have my brother-in-law Paul Colistra, who was Vice President of the school set us up for a meeting. Paul is now the President of West Catholic Prep. I have such a huge place in my heart for West Philadelphia, the coaches, players, and the neighborhoods. They helped me more than I could ever imagine!
I coached at West Catholic for 2 seasons, but that short stay impacted my life tremendously. At the time, I was 10 months sober. Yes, I’m an alcoholic. I was 27 years old, struggling with this new lifestyle, recently demoted in my position at work, totally uncomfortable in my skin, and trying to get through each day without drinking. One of the cliché’s I learned in rehab was “people, places, and things”. Stop hanging out with people that drink, stop going where people drink, and don’t go near anything that makes you want to drink. That seemed nearly impossible.
Pictured: Me, Rob Wharton, James Thomas
Fortunately for me, I found Coach Jazz Williams, Coach James Thomas, Coach Larry Strand, Coach Rob Wharton, and all the players in those 2 seasons. Those were my “people”. I found West Philadelphia, West Catholic Prep Gym, and the neighborhoods all over the city where our players lived. Those were my “places”. Long commutes to and from practice, endless conversations after practice about basketball with the guys, lots of film, late night scouting reports, and texts threads. Those were my “things”.
Each day was a grind, until I got in my car after work for an hour and 30 minute commute down 76 to 45th and Chestnut Street for basketball practice. That car ride never bothered me because I knew I was heading to a safe place, with people that accepted me for who I was. I also forgot to mention these guys that helped save my life don’t know I’m an alcoholic and 6.5 years sober….
West Philly.
I quickly learned that coaching the game of basketball was the easiest task at West Catholic. It was everything else that needed our undivided attention as a coaching staff. Our players, their families, and their friends had real problems: drug addictions, shootings on the streets, gang life, rough neighborhoods, prison, and later down the road…a player murdered.
Pictured: Coach Rob Wharton, Coach Jazz Williams, and Me
One of the lessons I learned now after reflecting at my time in West Philadelphia was that in order to grow, I needed to do things that were uncomfortable for me. Getting sober at the time was uncomfortable, but so was being the only white guy in every gym in the city, driving through rough neighborhoods to take players home where you knew you didn’t belong, calling and texting players daily even though they weren’t sure if they could trust me, and getting Chinese food at 22nd and Diamond in the middle of the summer. Talk about uncomfortable!
By doing these things, I earned their trust, and more importantly I forgot about my own struggles. I didn’t have time to think about me because these kids needed our help. Not only did our players start to trust me, but the coaching staff welcomed me into their circle. They taught me about the streets, the family upbringing, the struggles a black teenage male has to go through. They all experienced that life growing up and got through it. I looked up and admired them because they were all great leaders in their communities, and more importantly great fathers.
Brandon.
There was one player in particular I became heavily interested in helping. When I met Brandon Cole, he had a bad attitude, anger issues, and always in trouble in school. But through all his character defects, he showed leadership qualities at many times. He was always protective of his teammates, he had a desire to win, very passionate at times, and loved to cook! It was a real struggle in our first year with Brandon. The outbursts on the bench and meltdowns in practice outweighed the good qualities that first year, but we stuck by him. Actually, his mother fought for him in a meeting where we suggested he go to another school. I’m glad she did!
Suspended for the first 4 games of the season, he was a good teammate, and he progressed very well over the course of that season. After that season ended, our conversations about going to college became more serious. He would say things like “It’s not for me coach” and “I won’t get in coach,” or “I don’t have the money coach.” Slowly, he started to believe in himself, and our coaching staff did a nice job working with the administration to help him along with the process.
After the completion of his junior year, he was fully qualified as a student to go to college as long as he maintained the minimum requirements needed for his Senior year. That summer, Brandon started to change. He was in the gym working on his game, he was comfortably talking to our staff and opening up about his anger problem, and his desire to be successful. Brandon now wanted to go to college!
Our team struggled in our second season as a new staff, but Brandon continued to get better on and off the court. About mid-way through the season, Brandon was dealing with some really heavy off-court stuff, and all the sudden, the old player came back. Angry, defeated, and unfocused. Again, my own problems and my racing thoughts were put into perspective when watching a young teen go through very tough times.
In late February of 2014, Brandon was kicked out of practice for being late. I was so worried about him at this point. I talked to my wife when I got home, and asked her if she had any cookbooks or knew about any famous chefs, as Brandon was interested in pursuing his culinary dreams in the future. She went out and bought me a Bobby Flay Cook book, which I put in my gym bag before our road game against Neumann Goretti.
Brandon was clearly not mentally right, while dealing with off-court problems, and had another meltdown on the bench. Anger and tears, just completely distraught. Brandon walked off the bench and sat with his neighborhood crew that were in the stands for the second half. Coach Jazz Williams taught me another lesson about crisis management, but that’s for another day.
Immediately after the game, I raced to my bag and grabbed the book. I chased him outside in the parking lot, gave him the cookbook, and said “ I believe in you.” That’s all I said…and I went back to the locker room. In his final 3 games of the season, Brandon had 19, 17, and 22 points respectively, and finished off his 4 year career at West Catholic with a vicious two hand dunk! Those 3 games and the help of Coach Jazz earned him a roster spot in the All Star Labor Classic in March 2015. Coach Jazz also had the opportunity to coach Brandon in this game. Brandon was named MVP of the game, which led to an article written about Brandon by Aaron Carter at the Philadelphia Inquirer. Aaron Carter is a phenomenal sports writer who has a huge impact on the Philadelphia high school hoops scene. (See more of Aaron’s work by following him at @AceCarterINQ on Twitter)
A basketball coach at Johnson & Wales University in Charlotte, NC happened to read this article and was intrigued, learning about Brandon’s interest in cooking and knowing that JWU has a culinary program. The coach called Coach Jazz right away to talk about Brandon. Brandon was soon offered a scholarship from Johnson & Wales, a division 2 NAIA school. How awesome is that…combining both of his passions – culinary and basketball!
Still under a lot of pressure from his neighborhood, Brandon decided to go to Charlotte and attend Johnson & Wales. I met Brandon at his home the day before he left for school to drop off dorm supplies and some groceries. Neighbors were closely watching, wondering what the hell I was doing on their block. Brandon invited me into his home where he made chicken cutlets for me.
Let me make this very clear, leaving Philadelphia under his circumstances was very uncomfortable for him, but he did it. He finished up his freshman year at Johnson & Wales with a 3.1 GPA, and was the 6th man during the basketball season, playing in 25 games and averaging 6.3 ppg. We spoke once a week while he was there during his freshman year. We became very close. He was helping me more than I was helping him. He just didn’t know it.
That summer, Brandon came back home to Philadelphia for summer break and was shot and killed on July 3rd, 2016. We were absolutely crushed. That image of him laying in the hospital bed at Penn Presbyterian Medical Center with his chest open and tubes down his throat is vivid. I’ll never forget that. I think about this player every day. He gives me strength when I’m afraid about something. And, he reminds me to continue to do things that are uncomfortable in life.
The last text I received from Brandon in June 2016:
Thank you.
Thank you Jazz Williams, James Thomas, Larry Strand, Rob Wharton, Paul Colistra, all the players during those 2 seasons, and West Philly for saving my life without knowing it.
You taught me the following…
- Give Second Chances: I am one, and so was Brandon.
- In order to grow, you need to meet people, go places, and do things that are uncomfortable.
- Invest in others. Believe in others. Help others.
- Stick with the winners.
- Be compassionate towards others.
- Always put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Someone is always going through tough times at some point.
- Be Unselfish.
- Take Risks.
- Be Authentic.
- Brotherhood.
Thank you for visiting CoachHaggerty.com and reading my very first post. To learn more about me, please click here. If you liked this story, please share with friends and family via social media and please comment below! I would love to hear from you!
Patrick this was so inspiring and I’m very proud of you!! Keep up the hard work and doing what what you’re doing! Can’t wait for the next one!!!
Thanks so much, Jackie! Hoping to launch my next story in a couple weeks.
Inspiring! A great lesson we can all learn from.
Thanks Tim. Appreciate the love and support.
Coach,
Thanks for the beautiful tribute to Mr. Williams and the students at West Catholic Prep. I am West’s proud principal and this post captures why all of the faculty, coaches and staff love the school. There is nothing more powerful than the lessons learned in working with young people and no reward greater than knowing you helped change the world for the better. Best of luck to you!
Hi Kelly – Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to comment. I am both proud and humbled to have had the opportunity to make an impact on the students at West Catholic Prep. But honestly, I am even more thankful to the students for having impacted me so profoundly. Thank you again for your kind words and thoughts.
Pat I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed your blog! I am so proud of you! I look forward to reading more! You are amazing!
Thank you for reading!
Great read buddy. Thanks for sharing, you’ve inspired me.
Thanks Joe – glad you enjoyed it!
Pat I really enjoyed reading your story, thank you for sharing. I’m looking forward to hear more about how you changed your life in such a positive manner.
Thanks for your comment, John. Hoping that reflecting back on some of my own experiences can ultimately help others along the way.
Pat, so proud of you and your journey! Such a sad story about that young man. Prayers for his family. Keep up the good work, Pat! I’m sure you are making a difference.
Thanks, Laura. That means a lot.
Always have been proud of you Pat, but never more then today after reading that incredible story. Thanks for sharing such an inspiring story. I am sure a lot of people are going to benefit from your message. You are making a difference my man and we are lucky to have you at Archbishop Wood.
Than you Ed. That means a lot coming from you, and I’m very lucky to be part of the Wood coaching staff and community.
Pat,
Congratulations on the blog!
What an amazing story, great read, and so inspirational. I am happy you are doing so well. I forwarded your blog onto my family, I know they will all enjoy it as well. Good luck and can’t wait to read more.
Thanks so much Liz. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Please tell your family I said hello and I miss them! Thank you for sharing.
Having known you all of your life, and witnessing your incredible work ethic whether on the court,at your job, or completing your education, it was no surprise that you would be successful in rising above challenges. Your blog though, was a total surprise! I read your words, sometimes through tears, and am inspired by them, and grateful for the story they tell. Thank you Patrick, for stepping out of your comfort zone. I can’t wait to read more.
Thank you, Aunt Carol. I really appreciate your endless support. It means a lot.
Very inspirational. God bless you for putting others before yourself. If more people did what you do, the world would be a much better place.
Joe, I appreciate your kind words. Thanks for reading.
Patrick , Truly inspiring and well written. I had the opportunity to coach you for years on the soccer field and now I am being coached by you through your blog. Congrats.
Thank you for reading Coach Bontempo. The basic principles you taught me about preparation, work-ethic, and most importantly family are still with me today.
Pat
Self awareness is such an important part of any leadership journey. This short vignette of the past few years of your life give me great confidence that you are on the right path.
Keep on keeping on .
Mr Joe W Sr
AWHS ‘73
Mr. Winning,
I couldn’t agree with you more about self-awareness. It’s such a valuable skill to have when leading and working with others. I hope I can continue to learn about self-awareness, and enhance this important skill. Thank you for reading.
Brandon’s journey was a true testimony of the Gospel’s message. God bless you for this story. S. Ave
Thank you for reading Ave. Brandon was a true leader.
Pat
I was really moved reading your blog. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like that. I look forward to additional posts in the future. #RIPBRANDON
Thank you for reading Pat. I know you do the same for your kids at Goretti.
Pat, Tremendous article keep doing what your doing kids are really lucky to have you around them. I know young guys come off the wrong way sometime but a lot are looking for direction with guys like you around they will succeed.It was a great read sooty for that young man. Sent it to guys I played in college with and they all thanked me for the read.
Thank you for reading Coach Hueber. We are fortunate enough to be able to provide these kids some direction and structure. I appreciate you sharing the story with your college teammates.
I really enjoyed reading about your journey, Pat. You’re incredible and should be proud of yourself on so many levels. Oh, the places you’ll go………
Thank you so much for reading, Mrs. Lewis. You have always been very supportive of me, and it means a lot.
Pat,
Congratulations on this new venture! The lessons learned in helping others is always immeasurable and really fulfills the human need of being part of something bigger than yourself! Keep up the good work! Jim and I are so proud of all you have accomplished and endured. You are a great role model for many young men experiencing similar and maybe not similar issues but challenges nonetheless!
Thank you Meg! I really believe that’s why successful teams and organizations win. They believe in something bigger than themselves to reach a common goal.
Inspiring read. Great to see you in a much better place, I am very happy for you and all of your success in life. Keep pushing forward!
Thank you Chris. Glad you enjoyed the story.
Pat,
Great article. Two things my grandfather taught me we’re adversity builds character and greatness lives outside your comfort zone. You showed this many times in the article and writing it. I have been through some tougher times in the last few years and in those times I leaned into my faith, family, and friendships. Sounds like you have done the same.
Keep inspiring,
Matt
Matt,
Thanks for reading, and for your valuable words above. Like you, I had a great support system from family and friends that were willing to help me. Glad you’re doing well!
Pat,
What an inspiring read! I’m so happy that you are doing so well and helping so many.
Kristin Sharp
Kristin, Glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you!